Tuesday, June 9, 2009

What a wonderful day.

This morning, I woke up with time enough to shower and dress and eat before my first obligation. Let's step back and remember that I didn't get to sleep until after 5am, and my first obligation was at 10:45, and my phone (aka alarm) was dead. Anyway, I woke up at 9:45, showered, dressed and ate, then left for my eye appointment. After the very exhausting walk of 30 seconds, I arrived at our new optometrist. I picked out some new frames, and rather enjoyed the check-up as a whole. They dilated my pupils, which meant high light sensitivity and an inability to focus on anything within three feet for the next several hours, but it wasn't awful. It was a decent experience, I suppose.
I came home, made macaroni and cheese for lunch, then left for a dentist appointment at 1pm. We have a new dentist, too, and it was great. It's also closer, but I actually had to drive to this one. I accidentally left my wallet there, so I returned around 5pm to get it. Between my appointment and picking up my wallet, I spent a couple hours at church. I talked to my mom for a few minutes, and chatted with a few other folks. I talked to Terry about the college and young adult plans for the summer, because I'm really looking for some sort of community in which I can be encouraged and involved. He told me of the plans for various groups of that nature, and I was quite joyful to hear of the opportunities to connect in a more community-based way this summer. I also helped my dad with a project hanging curtains in the main sanctinasium, and we'll finish that tomorrow morning.
I came home briefly, after picking up my forgotten wallet, and decided to check out my account balance just for the heck of it. I discovered $120 in charges that I didn't authorize... I called the numbers attached to the charges- one number is out of service, and the other I was at least able to "cancel my account" with them. I'm supposed to call back tomorrow about a refund, but I'm also going into my bank. Seriously, though, I'm flat broke, and this is just frustrating as heck. I need every penny I have to keep up with paying off debt, and I don't want to waste time messing around with junk like this.
I couldn't really dwell on this, though, because I had made plans for the evening. I took a friend out for dinner tonight. I really wanted to catch up with her and see how she's been, because it's been a really rough couple months for her. We ate at California Pizza Kitchen (and made it out of there reasonably since we split a pizza), and walked around Polaris Mall for awhile. I drove her home, then we stood outside talking for almost another hour about some things. I was honestly nervous about it, because we've never really had a history of lengthy conversation (despite knowing her for the last eight years), but it was no problem at all. There was so much for us to talk about, and I was glad to catch up.
I got home and watched a little TV with my family; something like 18 and Counting on TLC, then Little Couple. Now, as I'm sure you've inferred, I'm here typing.

It's a very hard decision to make;
I know what's right.
I know what I should do.
But I feel like it would be a severe act of betrayal to do so. I don't know how to reconcile this all in my head. There's some very, very serious ramifications riding on a few brief words. I would never speak them with the goal of betrayal or hurting friendships, but it's inevitable such things would be felt. God, grant me peace about the choice I'm going to make. Help them understand it's not out of spite. There are no bitter feelings, only a great grief.

Currently Listening:
Celldweller - Last Firstborn
(I forgot how amazing this guy is.)

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