This post is primarily intended to encourage my girl friends. I've recently finished a book, and there was a segment I really wished to share, and this seemed the best method. Anyway, Rob Bell writes, and I repeat with the utmost sincerity and desire to edify (and occasionally add personal thoughts in parenthesis):
You don't need a man by your side to validate you as a woman. You are already loved and valued. You're good enough exactly as you are. (You're good enough exactly as you are.) Do you believe this? Because it's true. You have limitless worth and value. If you embrace this truth, it will affect every area of life, especially your relationship with men.
You are worth dying for.
Your worth does not come from your body, your mind, your work, what you produce, what you put out, how much money you make. Your worth does not come from whether or not you have a man. Your worth does not come from whether or not men notice you. You have inestimatable worth that comes from your creator. (Unmatchable, immeasurable, limitless, incontainable worth in Christ.)
You will continue to be tempted in a thousand different ways not to believe this. The temptation will be to go searching for your worth and validity from places other than your creator.
Especially from men.
But you don't have to give yourself away to earn a man's love. You're better than that. You're already loved.
When you give too much of yourself away too quickly, you're not being true to yourself... There is a mystery to you, infinite depth and endless complexity.
Your strength is a beautiful thing. And when you live in it, when you carry yourself with the honor and dignity that are yours, it forces the men around you to relate to you on more than just a flesh level.
You are worth dying for.
If you're dating someone, what kind of man is he? Does he demonstrate that he's the kind of man who would die for you? What is his posture toward the world? Does he serve, or is he waiting to be served? Does he believe that he's owed something, that he's been shortchanged, that he's gotten the short end of the stick, that life owes him something? Or is he out to see what he can give? Does he see himselfas being here to make the world a better place?
These are the big questions you need to ask yourself.
Does he have liquid agape running through his veins? (Agape doesn't need a reason. Agape doesn't love because you're worthy. Agape loves in such a way as to make you worthy. Agape shakes us. It's "too good to be true.")
A friend of mine was engaged to a man, and some of her friends were not excited about them getting married. As the wedding day approached, one of her friends decided to say something to her. He said, "When a woman is loved well, she opens up like a flower."
She broke off the engagement soon afterword. In one brilliant sentence, her friend taught her what agape is and what it isn't.
Can you tell him anything? Is he safe? Can he be trusted?
Can you open up to him, allowing yourslef to be vulnerable, knowing that he will protect, not exploit, that vulnerability?
Are you opening up like a flower? (Perhaps like a red rose, or a blue orchid...)
When you live in your true identity, when you find your worth and value in your creator, when you live "in Christ," in who you really are, you force him to rethink what it means to be a man.
(You are worth dying for!)
I think, to try to summarize this whole post: girls are incredibly valuable.
I mean, besides the fact she gave birth to me, my mom is very important. Though we can fight on occasion, she has been a great source of wisdom for me as I've been growing up, especially in the last six years. My sister is also immeasurable valuable to me- she's my best friend, and at times the only friend I've had whom I could trust to talk to about things in life. I can't imagine what particularly the last four years of my life would have been like without her.
The fact of the matter is, you girls are an extraordinary gender. You are worth the respect, honor, protection and love of every guy. No exceptions.
You are worth dying for!