Thursday, July 23, 2009

Pictures at an Exhibition

...I don't recognize my hands anymore. Staring down at them, unfamiliar scars on my knuckles and elsewhere gaze blankly up. I turn them over, hoping to recognize the inside. Instead, foreign, calloused and stained landscapes instill within me a supsicious captivation. What works have caused such destruction to territory I once knew so well? These aren't hands the hands I knew, nor are they hands I would have ever anticipated owning...

...I do not belong to a "friend group". In short, I hate "groups". I'm not particular interested in ranting about this right now. I just refuse to belong a definable "friend group"...

...I'm very counter-culture. Or, at least, I like to think I am. It's very possible that a part of my brain is missing, or that I lost some vital social skill at a very early age. Whatever the reason, I don't typically do things through convential means. This applies to a lot of things, but probably most noticeably in a relational setting. Often, my anxiety is overwhelming and I do nothing. However, should I begin to feel safe, or should I have a rare moment of daring, impulse takes over. Sometimes it seems entirely irrational, but that's just how I live. I think I much rather prefer to live irrational, unconventional and absurd than to follow the "social norms" (whatever those are, exactly...)...

Selfless love in the name of Christ is the only means to achieving genuine world peace.

Think about that for a bit.

After you've thunk, please go here and vote for Brian and I. You can vote five times, and we'd greatly appreciate it!

I finished reading Passion and Purity recently. I haven't discussed it with anybody, so it is very quickly and largely escaping my thought. It was much more challenging and fascinating than I ever expected, though. The overall effect of that book on me was... simply wow...

It's difficult parting with my DVDs. At the same time, it's inspiring me to become free of even more possessions. It's like, what more can I rid myself of?

God, I made you a promise. Then that happened, and I compromised it without even asking because of my own desire. I need to reinstate that promise before situations arise where foolish me can mess things up from a lack of self control. I promised you a year, and so it shall be.

Do you have any idea what you do to me, how overwhelming you are? I need something tragic and beautiful, and Damien Rice may just do the trick...

Currently Listening:
Shiny Toy Guns - We Are Pilots
(I've had this CD for over a year, and I've only just discovered how good it is.)

1 comment:

  1. I never have belonged to a "friend group" either. I have always wanted it, but then once I start catching on in a group I feel like moving on to another group. I feel that variety is healthy in friendships. Now, I have to be careful not to hop around so much that I never build onto the preexisting relationships.
    I have thought that this method of building friendships would not work, and that I wouldn't have any close friends. On the contrary, I have found that hopping around in different groups of friends has connected me with so many different types of people to learn to love. That is challenging, but rewarding. I have also noticed that God has blessed me with a kindred spirit in each of the groups that I hang out with. Another benefit of my friendship building method is that no matter where I go on campus at Cedarville, I am sure to know at least one person there who I can call a friend. I don't need to be hesitant to participate in any events for this reason.
    Having a group of friends is really overrated. So... highschool, if I may be so bold. It's much more beneficial to hang with many different groups. Variety is the spice of life.